


If we Could Only Turn Back Time

by GlitterGirl



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: M/M, trigger warning: self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 14:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2072022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterGirl/pseuds/GlitterGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley and Jinxx fanfic. Can Jinxx save Ashley before it's too late? What's going to happen to Jinxx?</p><p>TW: Self Harm</p><p>Descriptions = not my strong point. Oh and it's 1st person. If that annoys you I'm sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If we Could Only Turn Back Time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry the POV jumps around so much! It was originally a chaptered fic but that didn't work very well in the end so I put it all together.

Ashley's POV

I had just got up and was getting dressed when I heard Andy scream for us to get up now because Jinxx had an important announcement. I dressed quickly before going out to the other room on the bus. I smiled when I saw them. Especially Jinxx. I swear he gets cuter every minute. "Hi." I said - As usual I was the last in. Then before I knew it I was turning to Jinxx and adding "Sleep well?"  
"Yeah. Suppose." he said embarrassed. God I feel so awkward and stupid. I just sad down and curled my knees up to my chest looking at Jinxx and smiling. 

"So... um... yeah... I suppose I should tell you guys that I've decided to start looking for a girlfriend... I'm just bored of being single but I wanted your approval before I did anything," he babbled. My world fell to pieces. Jinxx wanted a girlfriend, I had officially lost all my chances with him - not that I had a chance anyway but now I can't even pretend. "So... whataya say?"  
"Cool." Andy said.  
"Yeah, great!" Jake and CC said together.  
"Ash? What do you think?" Jinxx asked. I didn't trust my voice to stay calm much do I just said something about whatever makes him happy and ran into the bathroom locking the door. I sat there curled up on the floor hugging my knees sobbing. I pulled out my lighter and flicked it on burning my skin. My world had fallen to pieces. I had no reason to live anymore. Jinxx didn't want me. He probably thought I was weird now as well.

\----

"Ash... can you let me in please?" I heard Jinxx ask through the door. He was still talking to me which was good. I let him in. He looked so worried. I hated seeing him like that so I tried to comfort him. Big mistake. He was now crying. I felt terrible.  
"Shh... don't cry. Please! I hate seeing you cry."  
"Why?" he asked. Well, it was now or never. I had to tell him sometime. It couldn't make things any worse.  
"because I love you... as more than a brother or a best friend." I said through tears of my own. Then he was hugging me. I looked up at his face, he was smiling. He didn't hate me. I smiled back. He leaned down and kissed me. My heart felt as if it was going to explode out of my chest.  
"I love you too baby! More than I ever have or ever will love anyone else ever again." I kissed him again. "Can I see your arm please? I wanna make sure your burns aren't too bad." he said. I froze.  
"Y-you know?" it was my turn to cry now.  
"Yes, I know; I heard your lighter. The others don't yet but if you keep doing it they'll have to find out baby." he said as I reluctantly showed him my burns and let him bandage them in a wet bandage before hugging him. I loved him so much and he said he loves me. I repeated it in my head a few times 'he loves me' before asking "Why'd you say you wanted a girlfriend?"  
"Because I was too scared to say boyfriend and have them know I'm bi. I'm not scared anymore though."  
"I used to be scared too but then when I said I'm bi you were all fine with it. They'll be fine with you too." I said to him and with that he grabbed my hand and we walked out to face the world. Together at last.

 Jinxx's POV 

I grabbed his hand, I was ready at last. It was finally time to tell them. With that we walked out hand in hand. Ready to face the world and whatever it might throw at us. Together at last. As we stepped out I looked up into Ash's chocolate brown eyes and just smiled at him. "Thank you." he said as we sat on the sofa with him cradled in my arms.  
"What the fuck! Jinxx... I thought you wanted a girlfriend?" Jake asked me with confusion in his eyes. He didn't seem angry though; that was good.  
"Yeah... about that... I... erm... I meant... erm... boyfriend... no, I meant Ashley." I said and everyone looked at me with a mixture of joy and confusion in their eyes but not one of them was angry. I was so relieved.  
"That's great guys!"  
"FINALLY!"  
"So... are you together now or what?" Jake asked. I just looked at Ashley. He was so beautiful and he was mine.  
"Yep!"  
"Congrats guys!" they all shouted as one. That's when I started humming the song I'd got my friend to write for me for Ashley a few months ago.

I smiled at the beautiful man cradled in my arms.  
"I love you so much!" I heard him whisper in my ear. I smiled and kissed him.  
"I love you too!" I mumbled into his shirt before carrying him in my arms to our bunk and lying down with him. He clearly hadn't got enough sleep last night because he fell asleep almost instantly. He never did get much sleep when we were on the bus. I'd always hear him moving or he'd be reading something or playing his bass softly and humming. I wrapped my arms around his waist snuggling into him. "So much." I whispered before falling back asleep myself.

When I woke Ashley was still asleep. I scribbled a note and left it on the pillow incase he woke up while I was out. 'gone to get us some food. Back soon love! xx :)' then I remembered a word I'd learnt last time we were in Finland so I added that too. 'Rakastan.' before leaving. As I left I yelled to the others that if any of them so much as layed one finger on Ashley I was going to personally get revenge. I think it did the trick because when I got back the love of my life; my soul mate; was safely curled in a ball on the edge of the sofa hugging his knees like always waiting for me. I smiled at that thought. He had been waiting for me!  
"Bonjour mon amour!" he said as I stepped through the door. He had obviously read the note and decided to do it himself.  
"hello!" I said pulling him onto my lap. "sleep well?"  
"I guess so... I can't sleep on busses that well though." he said sadly as he hugged me tighter and kissed me.

\----

I have been with my Ashley for 3 days now. We told the fans and they've been nice. I love our fans they seem so supportive of us no matter what we do or how badly we screw up. They always stick by us.

"Morning sleepyhead." Ashley said as he stepped out the bathroom. I just smiled.  
"Morning love." I said getting up and kissing him. "Today's the first concert that we're officially together and I'm officially out." I said. I'd only just remembered. I had a plan for something special I wanted to do for my Ash that night. I just needed to get the go-ahead from Andy and I was all set. I smiled at the thought.

Eventually I had to get up. I reluctantly untangled myself from Ash and went to get dressed. I was half dressed when I heard my baby's lighter flick on. That made me panic. He hadn't done it since we were toether... why now? I stepped back into our bunk and saw him sitting on the bed with the lighter held up to his keft elbow. Flames licking the skin red and raw. "Baby..." he jumped and turned round tears streaming down his face. It was a heartbreaking sight seeing him crying. "Why baby?" I asked tears of my own threatening to overspill.  
"I'm sorry. I just... I needed to... It's hard not doing it. I t-tried... I r-really di-did. I wan-want to st-sto-stop... for y-you." he said sobbing harder than ever.  
"It's okay." I said before kissing him. "Come on love. i'll bandage it up. I'm gonna take the lighter though and we'll have to tell the others." I said crying. I hated seeing my Ashley hurting so much. It killed me inside.

 Ashley's POV 

I hate seeing Jinxx cry and seeing him cry because of me was even worse. "No. Please don't tell th

We just ran through the set list and did the usual crazy shit we do. 

After the set was finished Andy, Jake and CC left the stage leaving me alone with Ash. It was time. Suddenly I felt waves of panic wash over me. Ash was here though and he was smiling and most importantly he was mine. "So yeah... as some of you know I have a little surprise for Ash. Before I do anything though I just want to say thank you to all of you for being so supportive of us. Ashley is my soul mate. He is the only one I will ever love this much. I will always love him. More than anything, even my life. Forever! So... erm... I've got a couple of songs I wanna sing." ((A/N they are an acoustic version of Die For You and a cover of In My Life - The Beatles)) I started singing and felt my lover's arms around me as he kissed the top of my forehead. I heard a collective "AWW!" from the crowd. That prompted me to go on and not to back out. I got down on one knee like they do in movies and pulled a ring out of my pocket saying "Ash... baby... will you marry me?"  
"Yes! A million times! I love you Jinxx!" he said I was so glad! We kissed and then I put the ring on his finger.

That was when we noticed a girl in the front row. She was crying. She only looked about 6 and she seemed to be here on her own. She was smiling up at us with tears pouring down her face. We pulled her up on the stage with us and hugged her. "what's your name kid?" I asked.  
"Tessa."  
"Why are you crying Tessa?" Ash asked her.  
"I don't know... I'm just so happy for you! I'm so proud of you. Both of you! Andy, Jake and CC too."  
"AWW! Thanks!" we said before she went back into the crowd and we left the stage to go and join the others on the bus and get ready to sign things.

 Ashley's POV 

I just sat on twitter like always. I was so happy that Jinxx had proposed to me. The fans at the concert all seemed happy about it too. They were so supportive! I truly loved all our fans. I was scrolling through my mentions feed and there were a lot of people being lovely as usual but there were quite a few hate messages sent to me threatening me. Luckily I was used to it by now; I got them almost every day. I'd been sent a few threatening Jinxx though. That hurt; I didn't want them to hurt my love. I decided to tweet them to ask them to stop. Needless to say it didn't work and more people turned against us.

After about an hour of this I logged off and curled up in a ball crying. We were then called out to sign things. I normally loved going out and meeting the fans but today I was scared. Someone was yelling crap as I stepped off the tour bus but then one of the other fans slapped her and walked over to me. She hugged me and asked if I was alright. She was so nice!  
"I'm so sorry about that bitch and all the crap on twitter." she said. "I did try and stop them but they wouldn't listen." tears were now pooling in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away though.  
"Hey. Shh... it's okay. It's not your fault." I said. She was so sweet! I hated seeing her cry. She looked up.  
"I'm so sorry!"  
"It's not your fault. You tried to stop them even. That's what's important to us." I said hugging her. "Do you want me to sign anything?"  
"It's okay... I've taken enough of you time already."  
"It's okay... I really don't mind. I enjoy talking to fans." I said. She just smiled at me. "How about I sign your shirt?" She grinned and nodded.  
"If you don't mind. It'd be AMAZING!" she said. She really was adorable. I signed her shirt and hugged her again. She gave me a letter. "Thank you for everything!"  
"Thank YOU." I said before hugging her and heading over to the rest of the fans with her letter safely tucked into my pocket.

 Jinxx's POV

It happened so fast. I had finished signing stuff and was making my way back to the bus when I saw three guys coming towards me. I knew them from somewhere but I didn't know where. "Hi Jeremy. Remember us?" The tallest one said. I hadn't been called that for ages. Then I suddenly recognised them. They had been the bullies at school. I nodded indecating that I did remember them. "Good. We came to finish what we started back in school." He said laughing as they all started hitting, punching, licking and biting me. I was really scared and it fucking hurt so much! Tears started to escape my eyes as they left. I got up off the ground when I heard shouts. I didn't want people to see me like this. I started running. I didn't know where I was going but I just kept running. Every time I got a text or a call from anyone I'd ignore it.

Eventually I found where I was going. I was in a clearing in the woods. I remembered the spot now. I must've subconsciously decided to come here when the bullies beat me up. I always used to come here as a kid when it happened. I looked around and smiled. This place hadn't changed much at all. I stayed there a few more hours before walking away back to the others. I was glad I hadn't forgotten that place. It meant so much to me and held so many memories both good and bad.

I got back to the bus and was instantly attacked by hugs. Ash had tears down his face. So did the others. I felt terrible for making them cry.  
"Where were you? We've all been worried!" CC said.  
"Please don't just disappear like that again" Andy said. I smiled at them and said I wouldn't do it again. I had no desire to. I'd made my lover and my brothers cry. I would not be doing that again. Ash took me into the bunks and made me explain everything. I did my best. Leaving out the worst of the beating and where I knew them from. I told him about my clearing though and about some of the memories it has, he looked at me. When I was done he said "I used to have a place like that too. I used to go there when I had a bad day."


End file.
